didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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