Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
