i think my mom watched the whole time
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
