This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
