he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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