Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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