That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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