he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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