OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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