ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
