Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
