Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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