Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
