Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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