you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
