Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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