He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
