Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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