he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
