Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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