I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
