ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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