I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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