She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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