Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
