I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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