I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If I die, sorry about rent.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize