i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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