Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
