She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
