his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize