i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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