He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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