Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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