i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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