forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
