don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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