I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
