erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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