there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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