plz talk dirty to me
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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