I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
