True but thats because hes a fetus.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
