Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize