I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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