You really coming over, don't trick.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
