So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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