ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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