I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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