And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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