Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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