Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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