My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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