Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
