its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
