im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
