Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
